Forgivness is one thing they certainly don't teach us.|

This is probably about words.

So far I had seen a couple of words. Truth, God, Love as the things I want and need to achieve. Logic, quest, experience and faith, as the things through which I could find what I need.

But the Love I seek was a twisted Love. Because what I seek is to give Love, in order to love me, and to love life. To pretend to give Love to others is selfish: no one can truly, honestly love. We are all sick, we are all confused and half-dead. We cannot love.

Truth and God are only two words that are around this wicked Love I looked for. In a way... to sanctify the cursed quest I've been doing.
But both words are as well my salvation. Because even in this darkness, I was tought that Love is the highest truth, even if I didn't understand Love, and that God is Love.

And I was obsesed with God giving me... the capacity to find Love, to give Love. I was obsesed with God giving me the answers that could make everything fit logically. I was obsesed with Why and How. But I most certainly didn't understand the What.
And I came to believe that a Quest would teach me everything I needed. And so I started to look for God in other places. To walk and to wonder, to seek, to read about other religions in order to find God.
I came to believe that if I knew enough... everything would fit together, and everything would make sense. I believed that knowledge could save me.
But as I went on with my Quest, I realized of two things: the first one was that it was not knowledge itself, but the experience gained through the quest that was important and relevant. I began to understood that through knowledge you achieved something deeper: it was experience that thing that was higher than knowledge.

What is the use of knowing that there is beauty in a melody if we have never listened to that melody? beauty is only understandable through real, actuall, empirical experience. Music is not explainable; nor is the color blue. But both of them are experiensable; both of them can be understood when we face them. It just takes to look for a musician or to stare at the bright sky on a sunny day. Nothing, absolutely nothing else could ever explain those things.

Truth is like music or colors. Love and God are like music or colors.

at the same time I understood this, I came to understand that logic won't always offer us true statemets: only possible statements. And therefore, logic can provide us with monsters: if we are smart enough, we can justify anything we want through logic. It is, and I say this with the highest of fears, only a mere intelectual excersise. Nothing else.

And this on its own made me wonder what was what made logic so believable in my mind. And if I was not going to believe experience because it fits the requirements of logical thinking, then, why?

And so I understood that it was thought faith that both experience and logic meant something.
Everything I believe is believed though faith: The sun is real, my friends are my friends, I am a human, I am not hallucinating. The universe was not created just a second ago looking as if was created before.
Both God creating the universe and the Big Bang begining the high dance of the cosmos are things that we accept not through logic, experience or quests, but through faith.

In the end, everything is a decistion.

But I was still missing a word: Because even if I had understood that to find Love, and therefore God and truth, I had to simply make a decistion for Love, God and Truth, I didn't understand what Love was. As I just said, I had a missconception of what love is.

And here is where the last word of this puzzle (so far) fits.
Love is not demanding. Love is not requiring. Love does not ask for anything. It just gives. Love is a gift itself: It makes no sense, Love is nor logical neither not logical; Love is beyond logic.

Love is graceful. And that is the key word in all this puzzle. I cannot say that I have not found Grace in other religions, because I have the feeling that some of the gods that die and resurrect do so because of Love. But it is certainly not the same as in christianity.

And I must say one thing about this kind of Love. It is not natural.

Nature teaches us of harmony, of cicles and of surviving. It teaches us that if you cooperate you can save yourself and others. It teaches us that the ones that are alone are ment to die, that the ones who are weak are ment to be food.
But even so, there are some sparks of something that appears to be strange and unexplainable: why is it that so many mothers are willing to die in order to keep their children alive? we are told that if they didn't, then the species wouldn't survive, and I agree with that to some point. But there is something glorious in that death: they die without expecting to receive anything back.

This example on its own is not enough to teach us about grace; but yet, grace is the light that gives meaning to such a manifestation of nature. Grace is too good to be human. Is too good to be part of nature.
Grace, the idea of Grace is just plainly not human.

In the end, everything is reduced to this:

Truth is a gift. God is Love, and Love is a Gift that no one can do anything to understand or diserve. The only desition we make is wether to accept the gift of grace or not.

It is love what can cure the world: not justice, not fights and struggles. It is Grace.